An explanation of how I became obsessed with triathlon

I've been doing local triathlons since about 2000. I never contemplated iron distance, or even made the time to do well enough to finish better than average. I finished my sprint distance races in an hour and 40 minutes or so. I would occasionally reach and do an Olympic distance, and was always slower than three hours for that. That was in 2004.

So what happened in the meantime? I guess it has to do with becoming a mom.

I think women with kids experience something when the children are very young that amounts to the subversion of self. It is expected. It is required. It is ultimately natural that a mother provide the food, comfort and care for her babies to survive and thrive. From pregnancy, through childbirth and breastfeeding, she gives her whole body and mind over to it.

Nothing about raising kids is measurable. There are no goals that you reach for each day, other than trying not to raise your voice, and making it another day without them pulling furniture down on their heads. It can be draining over time for a results-oriented person.

Finding something "selfish" that provides self esteem, time to think, a beautiful body, and clear, measurable progress is really like the opposite of caring for children.

Sometimes the pendulum swings hard.

My kids are now 3 and 5. Fortunately my husband is also a triathlete, so we worked out a plan about three years ago. We each wanted to complete an ironman at some point in our lives. It seemed life was only going to get more complex as the kids entered school and began their own activities. If we waited for that period to end, who knows if we would both be in good enough health, or have the time or resources to do it? A lot can happen in 15 years. So last year David made Ironman his goal, and his workouts took priority over mine, and I basically took the kids every weekend while he did long training rides and runs. He went out of a town a few times to practice on the course.

This year is my year.

I mostly train from sunrise until my workday starts, so the kids are asleep and I'm not missing anything at home. Dinner hour and bedtime are sacred and I don't miss them. My long bike ride day is a big deal. I miss the kids and David. They miss me. We attend triathlon races as a family, but on my training days at Cedar Point I lose a whole day with them.

I'm now in my last three weeks of building up before I start to taper my hours and efforts before the race. My mental focus is acute. All I want to think about and talk about is triathlon. I am not mentally balanced right now, for sure, but my performance is really great and I love the way I feel. Love it. Things will settle down after the race. I'm going back to short course because I feel the long weekend training is not fair to the kids. But I really want to accomplish this dream this year.

I think the important thing is that David and I (and the kids, actually) talked all this out ahead of time. And there is light at the end of the tunnel for him and the kids. For me, it will probably be somewhat of a letdown, and I will start being obsessive about something else. Perhaps Nora's birthday cupcakes for her kindergarten class!